This piece resonates with me on so many levels. You’re a pioneer and female pioneers are met with so much resistance that we’re made to feel like we’re the problem. I wish I had the courage I do today when I was younger but that’s the journey I guess. Funny story - your sister did my headshots in NYC years ago. She told me I reminded her of you. And I wonder now if it was the shared spirit of so many shared battles she was sensing. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably🙏🏼✨
Must have been my cousin, Genine. And thank you. You truly hit it right on the head. Knowing who you are as a female artist is extremely difficult to say the least. We must keep going though. There is no other choice. You should come join my community, A Rebel Collective, of likeminded creatives . Through movies, writing, discussion, and so much more we are helping one another move forward and stay fking sane!
Thank you so much Jennifer! I'm so glad you're on this platform. One day we’re in our ‘30s then all of a sudden we’re older! It can be depressing but at the same, we mature through the process. Please continue making these podcasts…so helpful! 💖
THAT PART!!! Thanks for sharing this vulnerable piece- you bared your soul!! Gosh! I cried listening to this! I will forever be a rebellious soul. Thank you thank you thank you
I always thought it was fascinating that we encourage children to paint, draw, write, play, be creative, use their imagination and run free - and then spend the next 16 years beating it out of them.
Congrats on all that you've accomplished to this point. It's in the battles that wars are won.
Thank you for this, you make me feel so seen! I had mystery illnesses from age 12-25, been told by to many doctors to count I was lying about my symptoms (also sinus infections and stomach pains), and basically dismissed by the medical industry. In 2010 my boyfriend insisted I try figuring out what was wrong again and I was eventually diagnosed with a gluten allergy and chronic fatigue syndrome (I still think it’s celiac). I live in NYC and I absolutely loved your bakery, one of the first I found after stopping eating gluten, it was delicious and so nice to at least have one safe space to get a treat.
I loved reading this. I know every actor (and creative woman) reading it will have a version of this — most likely still happening. For me, the repeating phrase is “you’re too smart”. Always said with disgust. And they don’t mean smart-smart, they mean you-notice-things-and-don’t-shut-up-about-them. You know, casual things like sexual assault. Or fraud. Or seeking justice in an obviously unfair situation.
Yes, I understand this only too well. It makes me doubt everything about yourself- even when you SEE it! It keeps accumulating over time as well. It’s a lot to unpack. 😞
And walking on eggshells. So much to lose, so many years of effort that no one has seen to be taken away by a simple phone call. I *am* a firm believer in the right will prevail though. At the end of the day. And you did — you’ve proved that
Congratulations on the movie and the recognition it’s receiving. Well deserved and overdue. Your writing resonates on so many levels and perhaps it’s this moment in time, but it feels like the construct of staying small is disintegrating. I grew up with similar voices telling me “you’re too this, too that”, leading me into a frozen state of not doing anything that would shine any spotlight, for any reason. Now, at 54, I look back at a life suppressed, but no more. It’s exhausting stuffing yourself into quiet obscurity at other’s directives. Time to break free, and kudos to you for doing it on your terms and on your own 🙌🏼🔥
I hear this from so many of my female students around the same age. It’s time you start doing and living for YOU!!!! It’s never too late although you’re told by everything and everyone around that it is. It isn’t.
Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve worked on enough sets to understand the horrors that you describe. Life fucks us, that’s what it’s here for. I started a non-profit in Hollywood to raise money for art grants, was boosted by NPR, BBC and the NYT, until my partners stole, emptied us out, shut us down, and I ended up sleeping in my Ford Focus wherever I could find a safe spot. 15 years later, never recovered financially from trying to do the right thing. Live in one room in a boarding house in Inglewood where my neighbor was murdered recently. Who knows if it ever gets better? People tell you it will to protect their own hopes and hearts.
The reason I’m sharing this isn’t for pity. It’s because I still get up every morning and keep trying, keep writing, keep performing, keep believing that the best students get the hardest tests. Keep remembering life is long, keep trusting there’s good in it. Thank you for showing us in your own way to never quit.
I understand this more than I can talk about here. I too have been left to pick up the pieces from lying partners- not once but twice. I get it. And yes picking up the pieces still. I too keep getting up. If we don’t- they win. And they will never win. Keep going
This piece resonates with me on so many levels. You’re a pioneer and female pioneers are met with so much resistance that we’re made to feel like we’re the problem. I wish I had the courage I do today when I was younger but that’s the journey I guess. Funny story - your sister did my headshots in NYC years ago. She told me I reminded her of you. And I wonder now if it was the shared spirit of so many shared battles she was sensing. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably🙏🏼✨
Must have been my cousin, Genine. And thank you. You truly hit it right on the head. Knowing who you are as a female artist is extremely difficult to say the least. We must keep going though. There is no other choice. You should come join my community, A Rebel Collective, of likeminded creatives . Through movies, writing, discussion, and so much more we are helping one another move forward and stay fking sane!
An Astronaut
How do I become a paid subscriber? I couldn’t do it through the Substack App
Thank you so much Jennifer! I'm so glad you're on this platform. One day we’re in our ‘30s then all of a sudden we’re older! It can be depressing but at the same, we mature through the process. Please continue making these podcasts…so helpful! 💖
"The world
Benefits from you staying small"....
THAT PART!!! Thanks for sharing this vulnerable piece- you bared your soul!! Gosh! I cried listening to this! I will forever be a rebellious soul. Thank you thank you thank you
We need more and more of us women being just that! X
Thank you so much for this story, Jennifer. A light in the darkness for all to see.
Xxxxxxxx
I always thought it was fascinating that we encourage children to paint, draw, write, play, be creative, use their imagination and run free - and then spend the next 16 years beating it out of them.
Congrats on all that you've accomplished to this point. It's in the battles that wars are won.
Amen!! Exactly
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for this, you make me feel so seen! I had mystery illnesses from age 12-25, been told by to many doctors to count I was lying about my symptoms (also sinus infections and stomach pains), and basically dismissed by the medical industry. In 2010 my boyfriend insisted I try figuring out what was wrong again and I was eventually diagnosed with a gluten allergy and chronic fatigue syndrome (I still think it’s celiac). I live in NYC and I absolutely loved your bakery, one of the first I found after stopping eating gluten, it was delicious and so nice to at least have one safe space to get a treat.
I get this so much! So happy you experienced my bakery. It was a great space.
It really was!
Love this <3
I loved reading this. I know every actor (and creative woman) reading it will have a version of this — most likely still happening. For me, the repeating phrase is “you’re too smart”. Always said with disgust. And they don’t mean smart-smart, they mean you-notice-things-and-don’t-shut-up-about-them. You know, casual things like sexual assault. Or fraud. Or seeking justice in an obviously unfair situation.
Yes, I understand this only too well. It makes me doubt everything about yourself- even when you SEE it! It keeps accumulating over time as well. It’s a lot to unpack. 😞
And walking on eggshells. So much to lose, so many years of effort that no one has seen to be taken away by a simple phone call. I *am* a firm believer in the right will prevail though. At the end of the day. And you did — you’ve proved that
Thank you. The damage has been deep. We continue
What would push you to live the life you want?
Congratulations on the movie and the recognition it’s receiving. Well deserved and overdue. Your writing resonates on so many levels and perhaps it’s this moment in time, but it feels like the construct of staying small is disintegrating. I grew up with similar voices telling me “you’re too this, too that”, leading me into a frozen state of not doing anything that would shine any spotlight, for any reason. Now, at 54, I look back at a life suppressed, but no more. It’s exhausting stuffing yourself into quiet obscurity at other’s directives. Time to break free, and kudos to you for doing it on your terms and on your own 🙌🏼🔥
I hear this from so many of my female students around the same age. It’s time you start doing and living for YOU!!!! It’s never too late although you’re told by everything and everyone around that it is. It isn’t.
Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve worked on enough sets to understand the horrors that you describe. Life fucks us, that’s what it’s here for. I started a non-profit in Hollywood to raise money for art grants, was boosted by NPR, BBC and the NYT, until my partners stole, emptied us out, shut us down, and I ended up sleeping in my Ford Focus wherever I could find a safe spot. 15 years later, never recovered financially from trying to do the right thing. Live in one room in a boarding house in Inglewood where my neighbor was murdered recently. Who knows if it ever gets better? People tell you it will to protect their own hopes and hearts.
The reason I’m sharing this isn’t for pity. It’s because I still get up every morning and keep trying, keep writing, keep performing, keep believing that the best students get the hardest tests. Keep remembering life is long, keep trusting there’s good in it. Thank you for showing us in your own way to never quit.
I understand this more than I can talk about here. I too have been left to pick up the pieces from lying partners- not once but twice. I get it. And yes picking up the pieces still. I too keep getting up. If we don’t- they win. And they will never win. Keep going
Hits so hard. I have that unfulfilled feeling now:
Awful. I understand this only too well
Oops I posted too soon. I’m sorry to hear that. It’s difficult to explain to someone who does not have that feeling. 🩷