We Found The Real Enemy- Glennon Doyle

and other lies you were told.

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

THE REAL ENEMY? (Brace yourself...)

The biggest, biggest issue for women?
Wait for it—it is—

OTHER WOMEN.

Sad, but true. You take yourselves down every—last—time.

“But Jennifer—the patriarchy!!!!!”
Yes, I know all about it. Its ever-pressing boot on the back of my neck never lets me forget—believe me. But do you realize you play a part in it too?

Every time you fight for a space you feel was taken from you by another woman—you’re in it.
You’ve lined yourself up as a happy soldier for the old boys who love nothing more than to see you scramble.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Here you go:

A few days ago, a huge writer—Glennon Doyle—joined Substack.
Within moments, she had over 200,000 subscribers.

The outrage? Deafening. Post after post about how NOT OKAY that was—because she was supposedly taking eyes away from smaller, lesser-known writers. And guess what?

Most of those complaints came from women.

So, basically, you told another woman she can’t write here because she’s too popular and she might take light away from you?

Think about that.

As females, we've been trained since girlhood to compete.
We’re raised on the “pick me” side of life. The "pick me" mentality is the ever-pressing need to be liked, desired, chosen—over other females.
For men.

WHY?

Because the world was designed for—and built by—you guessed it—men.

You were never supposed to have any seat except the one in the house. A male-dominated society that centered everything through that lens has conditioned women to compete with each other. Deliberately.

That’s why you feel like you don’t have space to share your work here—
because you don’t.

It’s ingrained in you:
If another woman has attention, you won’t.

Women are not given space to grow, to be, to exist—without the male agenda looming. It’s in our healthcare. It’s in our workplaces. It’s in our homes.

You’re right to feel triggered.
You’re pushed out of every space.

But it’s not her fault. It’s the system.

A system designed to make you claw out another woman’s eyes for a goddamn spot. And look—I get it. Wanting to share your work without turning into a social media star is real. But again—that’s not a her problem.
That’s a capitalist, societal problem.

The sheer insanity I feel hearing some massive celebrity say, “I don’t even have social media”—makes me want to punch them in the throat.

How lovely for you. But the rest of us? We have to put ourselves out there.

Now, walking around wanting to punch people in the throat is not a healthy lifestyle choice, so I had to figure it out.

Here’s what I offer:

If you're solid in your work, if that’s why you're doing it,
then it shouldn’t matter how many followers you have—right?

Yes, I get it—clicks and subscribers do matter now.
They help you make a living. I understand that. Believe me, better than most.

But this machine of social media has made artists—especially artists—obsess over engagement instead of creation. And that? Is an even bigger problem. But again—that’s the plan. Keep you chasing the platform that pays them—instead of making the work that feeds you.

Get it now?

They want us all fighting for scraps—
while they eat full meals. Meals that WE cooked.

So no—it’s not an equal playing field. Never has been. And judging by recent history, it never will be in my lifetime. Especially if you’re a female—and a female artist.

So, what to do?

You make your art.
Boldly. Wildly. Freely. For no one but yourself.

That’s what I did with my film, Fresh Kills.

It was one of the most painful—yet empowering—experiences of my life.
And a wound that hasn’t healed. To know what I sacrificed to make that film—a critically acclaimed film- only for it to be pushed aside because I wasn’t the right gender, wasn’t part of the elite few, or wasn’t algorithm-famous—was beyond devastating. So yes—I understand fighting for space with your art.

But what I can say is this:

Creating Fresh Kills was the best thing I ever did for myself. And I had to digest that many people may never know about it.
And that has to be okay for me to move on.

It forced me to stop looking for outside validation. Not from an industry.
Not from a person. Not from an algorithm.

And that kind of belief in yourself—in what you’re making—with or without applause— is something NO ONE can take from you.
No matter how many subscribers they have.

So if you’re like me and have a small following here (600 subscribers for me), keep going. Proudly. You will reach your people. Stop looking around.
Stop buying into what this society wants you to become—a cog in their wheel.

If you’re an artist—be one. Focus on your art. You’re needed now more than ever.

This is not a Glennon Doyle problem.
This is a society problem.

The solution- is first to even be aware of it all. How deeply conditioned we all are. And now you are. The truth is if women really ever came together to champion one another instead of fight for that one small spot, that isn’t even real in the first place, we could change EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!

It’s all a game—
deliberately built for us to destroy one another. Don’t take the bait!

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My podcast, REBELLIOUS, Art, Culture, Human will be starting soon. ALLLLL about this topic and so much more.