THIS! THANK YOU. Thank you for shining a light on this so eloquently. Finally someone has. How do others not see it? Or do they just prefer not to? Well written, moving, heartbreaking.
YES! YES! YES! So conditioned and programmed are we that there is only room for one voice and it is perpetually the male voice... When the female voice is featured for some reason it is diminished in favour of the man's story. We need more women like you to keep addressing these biases and to keep making films that showcase OUR VOICE!!
God dammit, ever since I read your article, I can’t stop thinking about what it means to be a toxic male and if that’s different than a male with an anger problem, for example. And, can a male have similar traits but not be toxic?
I definitely agree that we need to see more stories from the female perspective both in front and behind the camera. The sad thing is the current structure is so institutionalized as to stifle those efforts. How can that change be made on a local and national level?
Yes yes and yes. This is exactly the issue. It’s making and supporting independent storytellers to SHOW stories from other POVs! As I said what comes on our screens directly impacts culture.
Spot on Jennifer, as usual. Thank you for articulating this crucial message and using your voice to bring attention to the female experience - nothing will change until the world accepts this as truth.
Thank you Jen for this thought provoking piece. I watched Adolescence and it stuck with me for days. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. If asked what I think about the series, my response would be “I neither liked nor disliked it but It it did bring up so many thoughts and emotions for me as a domestic abuse survivor and the mother of 2 sons”. Some of what was or wasn’t addressed in the series left me feeling angry on a personal level. I think that the fact that we are speaking about the very real and important topic this series focused on or didn’t focus on is exactly what art should do.
Damn! I definitely see the problem. We need acknowledgment for us women. It seems every hard-hit movie is told through a male perspective, but we need more women stepping up to the plate and taking back the narrative. We have to stop thinking we’re in a male-dominated society and start making our own moves to uplift the female gender, as Jennifer showed us with Fresh Kills. 💖
Preach. Although this makes me sick to my stomach, it's so important. I just watched the first episode yesterday actually. I agree with you - I'm glad it's getting attention but it's also enraging that it takes a male lens for people to finally pay attention. I keep landing on that same theme "We want you to LISTEN to us!"
"We are so used to centering the man’s story that we don’t even notice anymore —
When the woman becomes a prop." Damn if this didn't almost knock me over... too relevant in too many ways.
So well written Jen. For years, I’ve been saying that all of the datelines in 48 hours that are real life stories about women being killed or maimed by their intimate partners or other male family members have just become so normalized that we’re complacent about it. People joke about it. Oh yeah dateline is just about women killing wife, killing, etc.. I used to watch it 10-15 years ago but I can’t watch it anymore because it’s real it’s happening and we’re letting. so now that we’re all I prefer to say conscious instead of woke, and we know what we have to do, we have to start talking about it and looking at what we can do about it. Our group is so helped me because I heard stories of women facing these types of situations, abuses, etc., and some who are actually starting to take action. This is what we need to see more of because when we see other people taking action then we feel like we can take action. Keep on bringing it Jen! ❤️
Thanks Madeline. That’s exactly it and what they don’t want. Which is why they don’t show it. Just like my film. Why show women getting out and having a choice. It’ll only huge others ideas. EXACTLy! We keep pushing forward. X
I watched this in pain AND horror on a personal level. One of my best friends has a teen son like this boy. It hit REALLY close to home as I have also personally experienced his rage (thankfully he didn't get physical with me). And it SUCKS because it is SO complex on how to break this cycle of toxic masculinity and also deal with the mental health issue. It's almost as if they are BORN this way and no amount of telling them it's okay to cry and speak your feelings works.
And yet, if this were a story about a girl doing this, it would still focus on the poor boy murdered 🤦🏼♀️
[Shoot, apparently hit send before finishing ... still trying to figure SubStack out - lol]
But YES! STOP making everything about men and boys. There's a fine line between wanting men to express their feelings and making them a victim and trying to understand them. 🤦🏼♀️ I too watched and wondered "But what about the girl who was murdered? What's her story? What about her family?" It was all about the boy. (Though - damn! The therapist was remarkable with her calmness ... and then reaction after he'd left the room! I felt that in my core; been there)
You've contemporized the glaring issue. It's been decades with gains and losses in the awareness and response to violence against women. I see my nearly 5 decades of being subjected to domestic violence divided into pre OJ and post. Pre OJ the police were called, response was dutiful and luke warm, removed and essentially non productive. Post OJ, the police, legal system might respond, restraining orders created, with actual change minimal. Then court mandated DV groups with the legal system often providing mixed message of arresting women who protect themselves or respond physically, and awarding custody to a father who endangers their child or uses the system to harass or malign the mother...a heaping of power and control moves. Seems women are fighting for or against, trying to have society acknowledge the harm, fear, control, power discrepancy, danger visited upon us by men, or that we must prove abuse or did we are something to bring this upon ourselves.
Thank you and please continue as you are doing to further stories, both fiction and non, creative projects, whether docs or created narratives, in order for the general population understands the struggles, decisions, suffering of abused women. We need all avenues of information and enlightenment...There's no more hiding this societal plague.
I don’t disagree with you at all, but… the other side of the argument is the recognition that toxic masculinity must be fixed by men. It is a huge societal problem for which men must be accountable. Equally, I am so bored of seeing dead women on screen and was relieved to see the focus elsewhere. So, it’s a start.
Here is the core of the issue. I have said this over and over. Women and girls can NOT fix this problem. It’s for males to deal with. We are too busy protecting ourselves and trying to live and thrive in a world made up of toxic patriarchy. I kept hearing about how Kamala didn’t “speak to the needs of men and boys”. They felt left out and unheard. Really? Every time women start to rise , patriarchy goes insane and doubles down. So many men and boys love Trump and Musk- two of the most toxic, abusive men in our recent history. And the men who don’t love them- still have tolerance for them. They “get” them even if they don’t agree with them. Just had lunch with a male friend- a great, caring guy who expressed to me that most of the men and boys in his family are Trump supporters and the young ones are enamored of the Tate brothers. I asked him how he deals with that, what he says to them. He looked pained and said that it’s complicated because he loves them and doesn’t want to have a rupture with them. And there it is! When the good men stay silent in the face of toxic masculinity they are actually complicit. It’s a shit show, but you better believe that women and girls who talk to the males in their lives about this toxic patriarchy are simply relegated to the category of “bitch”, “nag” or “mom”.
THIS! THANK YOU. Thank you for shining a light on this so eloquently. Finally someone has. How do others not see it? Or do they just prefer not to? Well written, moving, heartbreaking.
YES! YES! YES! So conditioned and programmed are we that there is only room for one voice and it is perpetually the male voice... When the female voice is featured for some reason it is diminished in favour of the man's story. We need more women like you to keep addressing these biases and to keep making films that showcase OUR VOICE!!
I’m trying! Believe me. It’s like pushing through a brick wall Pls share the post.
I got you!!
God dammit, ever since I read your article, I can’t stop thinking about what it means to be a toxic male and if that’s different than a male with an anger problem, for example. And, can a male have similar traits but not be toxic?
Anger is normal for all humans. When it becomes a problem is when it’s taken out on others.
Correct, and yet women’s anger is often misinterpreted, dismissed or deemed unjustifiable…
Tell me about it. In my film, Fresh Kills, you see the women’s rage and the amount of people that were uncomfortable with it was pretty crazy
We need more of our artists and creators to evolve the narrative
Another reason why filmmakers like are more important than you will ever know or be recognized as being! Thank you for Fresh Kills!!!
I'm avoiding reading about this show until I've seen it. But this just appeared online. Oh boy. https://deadline.com/2025/03/adolescence-creator-responds-absurd-misinformation-elon-musk-1236353995/?utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3fZ3hL2yLrtjqVSj-V93g7Wbb1hFIzAWVrslbrMeqTFigj9cwCswewQtc_aem_hDdxmwfAZEo30iwaxSOXTA
I definitely agree that we need to see more stories from the female perspective both in front and behind the camera. The sad thing is the current structure is so institutionalized as to stifle those efforts. How can that change be made on a local and national level?
Yes yes and yes. This is exactly the issue. It’s making and supporting independent storytellers to SHOW stories from other POVs! As I said what comes on our screens directly impacts culture.
Amen sister! Xo
Thank you for so clearly articulating what has been alive in me
Spot on Jennifer, as usual. Thank you for articulating this crucial message and using your voice to bring attention to the female experience - nothing will change until the world accepts this as truth.
100000%
Thank you Jen for this thought provoking piece. I watched Adolescence and it stuck with me for days. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. If asked what I think about the series, my response would be “I neither liked nor disliked it but It it did bring up so many thoughts and emotions for me as a domestic abuse survivor and the mother of 2 sons”. Some of what was or wasn’t addressed in the series left me feeling angry on a personal level. I think that the fact that we are speaking about the very real and important topic this series focused on or didn’t focus on is exactly what art should do.
Damn! I definitely see the problem. We need acknowledgment for us women. It seems every hard-hit movie is told through a male perspective, but we need more women stepping up to the plate and taking back the narrative. We have to stop thinking we’re in a male-dominated society and start making our own moves to uplift the female gender, as Jennifer showed us with Fresh Kills. 💖
Preach. Although this makes me sick to my stomach, it's so important. I just watched the first episode yesterday actually. I agree with you - I'm glad it's getting attention but it's also enraging that it takes a male lens for people to finally pay attention. I keep landing on that same theme "We want you to LISTEN to us!"
"We are so used to centering the man’s story that we don’t even notice anymore —
When the woman becomes a prop." Damn if this didn't almost knock me over... too relevant in too many ways.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughtful opinions. Even if I don’t see things the way you do, I’m glad you’re using your voice.
Thank you!!!!!!
So well written Jen. For years, I’ve been saying that all of the datelines in 48 hours that are real life stories about women being killed or maimed by their intimate partners or other male family members have just become so normalized that we’re complacent about it. People joke about it. Oh yeah dateline is just about women killing wife, killing, etc.. I used to watch it 10-15 years ago but I can’t watch it anymore because it’s real it’s happening and we’re letting. so now that we’re all I prefer to say conscious instead of woke, and we know what we have to do, we have to start talking about it and looking at what we can do about it. Our group is so helped me because I heard stories of women facing these types of situations, abuses, etc., and some who are actually starting to take action. This is what we need to see more of because when we see other people taking action then we feel like we can take action. Keep on bringing it Jen! ❤️
Thanks Madeline. That’s exactly it and what they don’t want. Which is why they don’t show it. Just like my film. Why show women getting out and having a choice. It’ll only huge others ideas. EXACTLy! We keep pushing forward. X
I watched this in pain AND horror on a personal level. One of my best friends has a teen son like this boy. It hit REALLY close to home as I have also personally experienced his rage (thankfully he didn't get physical with me). And it SUCKS because it is SO complex on how to break this cycle of toxic masculinity and also deal with the mental health issue. It's almost as if they are BORN this way and no amount of telling them it's okay to cry and speak your feelings works.
And yet, if this were a story about a girl doing this, it would still focus on the poor boy murdered 🤦🏼♀️
[Shoot, apparently hit send before finishing ... still trying to figure SubStack out - lol]
But YES! STOP making everything about men and boys. There's a fine line between wanting men to express their feelings and making them a victim and trying to understand them. 🤦🏼♀️ I too watched and wondered "But what about the girl who was murdered? What's her story? What about her family?" It was all about the boy. (Though - damn! The therapist was remarkable with her calmness ... and then reaction after he'd left the room! I felt that in my core; been there)
You've contemporized the glaring issue. It's been decades with gains and losses in the awareness and response to violence against women. I see my nearly 5 decades of being subjected to domestic violence divided into pre OJ and post. Pre OJ the police were called, response was dutiful and luke warm, removed and essentially non productive. Post OJ, the police, legal system might respond, restraining orders created, with actual change minimal. Then court mandated DV groups with the legal system often providing mixed message of arresting women who protect themselves or respond physically, and awarding custody to a father who endangers their child or uses the system to harass or malign the mother...a heaping of power and control moves. Seems women are fighting for or against, trying to have society acknowledge the harm, fear, control, power discrepancy, danger visited upon us by men, or that we must prove abuse or did we are something to bring this upon ourselves.
Thank you and please continue as you are doing to further stories, both fiction and non, creative projects, whether docs or created narratives, in order for the general population understands the struggles, decisions, suffering of abused women. We need all avenues of information and enlightenment...There's no more hiding this societal plague.
I don’t disagree with you at all, but… the other side of the argument is the recognition that toxic masculinity must be fixed by men. It is a huge societal problem for which men must be accountable. Equally, I am so bored of seeing dead women on screen and was relieved to see the focus elsewhere. So, it’s a start.
Here is the core of the issue. I have said this over and over. Women and girls can NOT fix this problem. It’s for males to deal with. We are too busy protecting ourselves and trying to live and thrive in a world made up of toxic patriarchy. I kept hearing about how Kamala didn’t “speak to the needs of men and boys”. They felt left out and unheard. Really? Every time women start to rise , patriarchy goes insane and doubles down. So many men and boys love Trump and Musk- two of the most toxic, abusive men in our recent history. And the men who don’t love them- still have tolerance for them. They “get” them even if they don’t agree with them. Just had lunch with a male friend- a great, caring guy who expressed to me that most of the men and boys in his family are Trump supporters and the young ones are enamored of the Tate brothers. I asked him how he deals with that, what he says to them. He looked pained and said that it’s complicated because he loves them and doesn’t want to have a rupture with them. And there it is! When the good men stay silent in the face of toxic masculinity they are actually complicit. It’s a shit show, but you better believe that women and girls who talk to the males in their lives about this toxic patriarchy are simply relegated to the category of “bitch”, “nag” or “mom”.