I never set out to be rebellious. It’s not a title I chose or a life that’s been easy.
You see, I believe that voice matters. EVERYONE’s voice.
As children that tiny voice inside us is where the dreams live absent of fear. That’s the most honest, unfiltered, authentic magical part of ourselves.
Until it’s trampled on.
Sadly, the world benefits from us becoming fearful, forgetting that voice that held those dreams and forgetting oneself.
We’re conditioned to step willfully into the boxes that are “acceptable” and stay obediently there. The number of times I’ve been told who and what I should be is endless. And even as “rebellious” as one tries to be to maintain that voice, the constant “should be’s” wear on you.
They wore on me!
So much so that after years of listening to doctors tell me nothing was wrong with me, when I KNEW there was, I almost died from undiagnosed celiac disease!
Or the years fighting for a place, for permission, for a chance in the entertainment industry to do what I knew I was capable of, rather than what they told me I was.
It took a LOT of self reflection, dark nights and facing a lot of demons to finally give MYSELF permission to live the life I believed I could. Which was creating stories that mattered. Human stories. Stories that touched your soul and possibly helped you understand more about yourself and the world around you. That meant being a filmmaker as what I was craving to see was not out there. Especially from a woman's POV.
That’s how FRESH KILLS came to life. A hard, long over 10 year journey. I will unpack it all here in the future. Not only how I wrote, directed, produced, self-financed and marketed the film with the constant rejection, gender bias, industry bullshit, every road block imaginable, but more importantly how I faced, well— ME. To undo all of that conditioning and find that voice again. Making my film was the single most important decision I ever made- not for becoming a filmmaker but becoming more of who I was always meant to be!
THAT IS a REBELLIOUS LIFE.
My school, a REBEL COLLECTIVE, was started for EXACTLY this reason. Helping artists, creatives and ANYONE looking to find their voice again through the beauty and discovery of ART. You don’t have to be a filmmaker, a writer or call yourself an artist to belong here. You just have to be ready to give YOURSELF permission to live the life YOU want. I look forward to hopefully inspiring you, getting to know you and unleashing more beautiful rebellion into the world. It’s needed now more than ever.
Xx
Jen
Become part of the REBELLIOUS COMMUNITY! and get access to:
An honest, raw, look at all aspects of what it means to live and strive for a Rebellious Life. Some weeks that means a newsletter, others a video, a poem, a rant, a breakdown or a breakthrough. Interviews with others striving to live rebelliously, conversations with thought leaders and LIVEs with YOU! I’ll always focus it all through the lens of creation. Leaning into curiosity rather than fear.
Rebellious Film - Everything from talking about the latest film to remembering some greats or introducing you to some amazing films you may not know. I’ll also give my insights and discuss how the hell I made FRESH KILLS- and take you on the journey to what’s next!
Rebellious Eats - A damn good gluten-free recipe now and then for all my allergy-ridden friends from my Jennifer’s Way Bakery days. Yes, I created, owned and operated the first gluten-free, vegan bakery in NYC, called Jennifer’s Way. As a celiac and severe food allergy sufferer, I will ALWAYS be in search of food that tastes like freedom.
Rebellious Journals - Writing prompts to ignite your inner creative. And I’ll be publishing or reading a Rebel writer of the moment. That means sharing work from a Rebel Collective member.
Finding your voice in a world that tells you to stay quiet is not only part of our society but is also very much the plan of mainstream media — the movies, the shows you watch all dictate the way “you’re supposed” to be. They show a limited perspective of you, your neighbor and the world around you, which is why it’s vital to support independent artists.
About Jen Esposito
A dog lover and bread enthusiast, is an award-winning actor, writer, producer and most recently honored with an Astra Award for Filmmaker On The Rise. Jen’s critically acclaimed film, FRESH KILLS, won The Audience Award at The Hamptons International Film Festival in 2023 where she also received an Excellence in Directing Award from NYWIF. Jen is a New York Times best-selling Author for her book, Jennifer’s Way, about her journey with celiac disease. In 2022, she created a Rebel Collective which offers classes in acting, writing, and mentorship for screenwriting and indie filmmaking.
